fighting

what is it that troubles me
my core is all messed up
though i thought i could clear
my clouded feelings
by raining eyes
i couldn’t gather courage
enough to give up
i keep doing the same thing
as if nothing ever happened
there is sleeplessness
there are same thoughts i can’t ignore
being in love is all there is
to remember the times
when love was not sold
neither i can express it
nor i can accept
the truth is still so unclear
as there was no message
if only i can change a moment in my life
when the life was so dear to me
and love always shined
this need to be with someone
with whom i shared my best and worst
this unbuilt family
and the future that i know i have lived
has come to a stop
with the foolishness
in mind
i wish i could go back
to the days she still smiled

within me…