This is motherhood. It’s not perfect. It never will be.
I will make poor decisions every minute of every day. I will also make the right decisions every minute of every day.
Will my child take a bath every night? Nope, and that’s ok.
Will my child always be in bed at the same time EVERY night? Nope and that’s ok.
Will my child ever question my love and support to her? Nope, NEVER!!
The past 19 months have allowed many demons to surface at full force. With my own family and support so far away, I found it very difficult to tackle motherhood while still being an effective teacher and wife. Instead of helping, I was told to just either suck it up or adapt to someone else’s routine that works.
I hate to break it to people, but that doesn’t always work. As a society, we expect to place everyone under the same standards and expectations. If we do that, where’s the individuality? Where’s the piece that allows us to be human and express our own opinions and thoughts. Why, as woman, do we need to constantly appear as if we have it all under control? It isn’t fair to anyone.
Tonight I had to go for a run. I’ve decided to run a half Marathon on March 1. This is something for me and me alone. This is my thing. My escape. My therapy. I already feel better emotionally and physically. More stable in every area of my life.
Tonight I got home from work a lot later than I anticipated. My husband had a prior commitment. He dropped off our daughter to me at work and we went home as he ran off to what he needed to do. I got and prepped to go for a run. I knew if I didn’t go now, I’d find every excuse. So into the stroller and to the gym at our complex.
Things went great until they didn’t. Right at the end of the run she dropped the iPad. (Yes I gave my daughter an iPad to entertain herself in the stroller while I ran, it’s life). All I have to say is thank goodness for ‘Beat Bugs’! They have been a savior.
Was my daughter in the stroller, at the gym, with the iPad an idealistic situation? NO.
Was pushing her dinner back by an hour smart? What do you think?
But, guess what? She survived. I survived. She was OK. We made dinner together. We sat and talked while she ate and I started dinner. We laughed in the bath. We talked some more getting ready for bed. I kept getting hugs and sweet looks.
She didn’t care! She still ate and played and spent time with mommy. Her night was complete.
She constantly teaches me there are no rules and expectations. My health and happiness are what matter. Her happiness and well being are what matter.
This is how I tackle motherhood.