Ghosts of your past present fortitude

Once upon a time, I used to share my own blog posts upon this arena served with an anecdotal lesson to be gained from my wordy warbles.

I have not done that in a while, instead I’ve been (sort of) sharing my poems or pieces of creative writing. I guess I just wanted to fit in here a bit more, be like the other poets and philosophers, the thought-speakers (those voicing their quandaries and ideals)…

And alas, my postings fell by the wayside and have become ever more sparse in sharing or publishing. I am far too critical of my own writing to know what to share. I don’t know what people enjoy reading and contemplating.

So let’s go back to the beginning of the middle. Rewind item, review time, revert to post my initial inflection…

PSA: The haunting ghosts behind the masks…

What was sown is now reaping just desserts. A test of faith for whatever that’s worth. You, my friend, must remove your mask. Face the deepest fear within – the truth of who you think you really are. If you know who you are and what you are capable of, then you cannot be manipulated or twisted in anyway that is not in concordance with your own will. See shit for what it really is. Know what’s true and and what’s false. What’s real, and what’s a lie. What’s a half truth, a deceit, and for what purpose does it serve. 13 June 2019

You may doubt yourself, you may question if anything that you have been working on is really worth it. You may feel wonderfully free only to freeze in the spotlight, overcome with anxiety and fear when something from your past rears its ugly head.

Perhaps no matter what you seem to do, you cannot escape the mistakes of your past; you cannot forget the hurt you caused or the harm that you inflected, because they won’t let you forget the pain you caused, or the pain you felt. There is so much inner turmoil going on inside that you fear you might break apart.

Just hold tight, it’s going to be all right. You’re not the only one who is experiencing this. It’s just the perfect time for your perfect storm. If this is not something you feel resonant with you, that’s fine. This is targeted towards a specific type of person, for everyone’s journey is different no matter if the roads may be of similar vein.

You are one who is rather ordinary, you never really stood out from the crowd. There was nothing particularly special about you, you often felt overlooked or invisible. More often than not, no matter the crowd, you felt isolated, rejected and alone.

So you learned how to adapt and change yourself. You watched people and observed what they responded to, what they seemed to like and dislike. You resolved within yourself to embody a version of their idealisation. Whatever it took to fill the lonely longing in the hole of your soul.

Thus the first mask you made for yourself, and soon it became part of your daily charade. You have a collection of invisible masks and facades, you’ve worn them for so long you forgot you were wearing any at all.

Don’t wait until your deathbed to remember who you were (and still are, deep down somewhere in there, or maybe lurking just beneath the surface). Take control of your life by embracing the power you own. It’s the truth of you and that thingy that made you different from the others.

There was something about you that made you special, and it was not of this world. You were destined for more. You are destined for more than the measly little world you see yourself “trapped” within. The world spits on what it doesn’t understand, it treads on those that are different.

The world turned its back on you and you bow your head in sorrow, eyes downward, you believed them… oh, pet. Dear, sweet child. It’s okay to cry. Their words are lies, they just don’t know what it is about you that they cannot put their finger on. Kids can be cruel. Parents, too, with their expectations that they could live vicariously through you. They’re not you and they’re blinded by their pride combined with your inner starseed light, burning bright, a dazzling dizzying sight.


I need you to stand by my side. Against the endless perpetuation of the soul’s penchant for self destruction. The hollow temptation of the cruel curiosity, and the torment inflected on whosoever you feel worthy. Stop this masquerade. Wake up to yourself. See the truth of who you are, who you were and are meant to unleash.

Face the oncoming test of character. Trial by fire for the soul to ignite and inspire the world to strive for the better.

Let’s hope I remember why I started writing here in the first place. I often forget because I’m so often chasing my own damn tail in circles again and ag….ah! shiny thingy! I go i go i go gi goi igoigoi… weeeeee! | Mother is a little muddled. Maybe you might want to check in on her, sometimes. Sometimes, she writes stuff of spiritual nature. Some might even call her heretical. Rarely does she write stuff that is nautical. Follow her/me, the pinky-pied-piper prances down the pedestrian path. Along my highway through hell.

5 thoughts on “Ghosts of your past present fortitude

  1. Nathan AM Smith Jun 14, 2019 — 01:55

    Thank you for sharing this!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for reading it 🙃


  2. Yeah that’s my brain finally came to conclusion: “Why should I give a shit about stuff that freaking not important, why do I have to give a shot to everything and everyone that is not for me?” I mean waste my own energy talking to my brain that I am freaking perfect. Why? I know that I am perfect with all my imperfections and that’s it! No one can judge my shit and if they do it’s not my problem. 😂😂😂 I really love what you wrote here, no many people can think like that. My donkey is happy trotting here. No more unicorns. 🐅

    Liked by 2 people

    1. The unicorn is a rhinoceros 🦏 the magical one everyone? 🦄 that’s a dick head. 😂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. 😂😂😂

        Liked by 1 person

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