Now that I know
I am not good enough,
I curl up in a ball
and hideaway
when times get tough.
A voice in my head tells me
to pull myself together,
but that’s not easy
when you have reached
the end of your tether.
What optimism I had
is now non-existent,
swallowed up by
the doubts that were
far more persistent.
I can’t get rid
of this feeling
that makes me nauseous,
I guess it’s payback
for all the years
I was too cautious.
Instead of taking
the chance to be free
I lived my life
in monochrome instead of 3D.
