Monochrome

Now that I know

I am not good enough,

I curl up in a ball

and hideaway

when times get tough.

A voice in my head tells me

to pull myself together,

but that’s not easy

when you have reached

the end of your tether.

What optimism I had

is now non-existent,

swallowed up by

the doubts that were

far more persistent.

I can’t get rid

of this feeling

that makes me nauseous,

I guess it’s payback

for all the years

I was too cautious.

Instead of taking

the chance to be free

I lived my life

in monochrome instead of 3D.