To Reveal or Not to Reveal…

From the very start Hubby and I knew we didn’t want to know the sex of our baby. It was something we had talked about long before we ever realistically started thinking about kids, actually. 

“It’s one of life’s last great surprises,” we agreed.

What we didn’t know was how much not knowing the gender would add to our pregnancy experience. While we didn’t get to have a gender reveal party, and picking out clothes and a theme for the nursery was a little tricky, we both agree that not finding out if we were having a boy or a girl was one of the best decisions we ever made. 

Why you should seriously consider waiting to find out

If you are out there debating whether or not you want to find out if your little bundle of joy is a boy or a girl, let me present you with some arguments for the “wait it out” side. 

It really isn’t that hard to prepare for baby with gender neutral themes/ colors

Just because you don’t know what baby will be doesn’t mean you have to be boring when it comes to your planning. You don’t even have to be generic! We decided to go with gray and white for the nursery (I know, generic… but wait for it…)

And our theme is SHARKS! (No, this isn’t because of the Baby Shark craze. I promise.) We added in some green/ turquoise for an accent color and boom! It turned out pretty adorable, if I do say so myself!

Family and friends get super involved

It’s amazing how people become so much more invested in the pregnancy when they don’t know if you’re having a boy or girl. You would think it would be the opposite, but that was not the experience I had.

Everyone wanted to guess what I was having. They all had their theories. “My sister’s belly was shaped like yours and she had a ….” “My aunt didn’t get morning sickness and she had a ….” “That baby is moving around a lot! It has to be a ….”

It’s so much fun hearing people’s ideas, and you’d be surprised how people really get into trying to predict what you’re having. It was a constant topic of conversation/ debate in my office and amongst my family and friends. It definitely adds an extra element and gets friends and family extra involved.

Speaking of theories… Old wives tales are always fun to look up and discuss

Hubby and I had a lot of fun looking up old wives’ tales about determining baby’s sex. Was I craving sweet or salty? Did I break out or is my skin clear? Was I carrying high or low? Did my leg hair grow faster or slower? What side did I prefer to sleep on? And the list goes on and on.

Side note: Almost ALL of the old wives’ tales said I would be having a boy. Even the Chinese calendar predicted boy. I had a girl. 

It makes the pregnancy community around you really come to life

Sharing my pregnancy experiences with other women was one of my favorite parts of being pregnant. I never realized how much of a uniting thing it can be having a baby.

What I loved was every time a woman asked me about my pregnancy (“How far along?” “Do you know what it is?”) our conversation was able to go beyond the “it’s a girl” “oh, that’s nice” exchange. It was so fun to ask other women about their pregnancies (“Did you notice anything different with your boy than with your girl?” “I’ve heard that with girls/boys… Did that happen to you?”). And since I didn’t know if I was having a boy or a girl, it was fun to relate with “I had that symptom.” “Oh, I didn’t get that… maybe it is/ it’s not a…” 

I got to choose how I found out if it was a boy or girl

Probably my favorite part of waiting to find out what our little one was was the fact that my hubby was able to be the one to announce it to me. All we had to do was tell the doctor that we wanted him to be the one to broadcast the news. The moment in the hospital when he told me it was a girl is one that I will never forget.

Side note: Even the doctors and nurses were extra excited about the baby being born to see what if it was a boy or girl. It adds a little something for everyone.

So, what’s the trade off?

No, we didn’t get to have a gender reveal party. And no, we didn’t get to stock pile baby girl clothes. But, to be honest, I’m okay with both of those things.

I didn’t get to have the party. But, I did get to have a very special and shared experience with my friends and family. It’s amazing how excited everyone was for me to have the baby. And, most people were completely honest when they said why they were excited: “I want to know what it is!”

And, we didn’t get bombarded with clothes… It’s not the end of the world. It’s better, even! Because now that she’s here and we know she’s a girl, grandmas and aunties and friends are wanting to spoil her. She went from having a humble collection of grey, white, and green outfits to being stocked with anything and everything pink in the span of a week. It wasn’t a problem at all.

Yay for little girl clothes! Thanks Grammy!
I just love that strawberry booty!

In the end, it’s your pregnancy, your baby, and your choice. It’s your experience to enjoy any way you want. And if finding out will make you feel more connected to the baby (a good argument one of my friends mentioned when she explained why she wants to know), or if you want to get all the cute monogrammed decorations and clothes, go for it! I completely understand wanting to know.

But, if you are even considering holding off, I would just like to say: IT IS COMPLETELY WORTH IT! 

Follow along with our journey by checking out my blog at!

3 thoughts on “To Reveal or Not to Reveal…

  1. I couldn’t bear the wait. I thought I wanted to wait with my first baby, but after finding out I was so glad. For me I was finally able to bond with the baby who now had a name and I could daydream about raising my little boy. I still did a gender neutral nursery and had a gender neutral going home outfit and didn’t actually buy too much of anything else.
    On the flip side, my mom had 10 kids (of which I’m the second) and didn’t find out a single time!! So I kind of felt like I’d already waited out 8 pregnancies and I was tired of waiting by the time I got to my own. 😂


    1. minimalistmama22019 Mar 10, 2019 — 17:57

      Wow! 10 kids! Good for your mom! That’s impressive! And I completely understand what you mean about bonding. My friend said the exact same thing about why she wants to find out when she gets pregnant. It was strange saying “it” instead of “him” or “her.” It felt very impersonal. That’s why I always just said “Baby.” =)


      1. Yeah, I’m the same way. Until I find out WHO is in there, I say “baby” because “it” just feels so distant.

        Liked by 1 person

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